Change is in the Air...

To say the last couple weeks have been stressful would be a bit of an understatement. Truly, I have felt quite overwhelmed lately but mostly due to circumstances completely out of my control. It has been a bit of a wake up call however and it has me feeling much more committed to becoming healthier and taking better care of myself. Without going into much detail, I will say that I have seen people in my family go through some tough stuff. Namely, cancer returning and killing a loved one. Another loved one suffering a broken leg and needing surgery to get it back into place. And another loved one being admitted to the hospital. So, suddenly I am seeing multiple ways that health is failing in people that matter to me. It has provided a true wake up call and made me really think hard about taking better care of myself.

I know, broken record. But maybe this time will be different. We only get one body to last us a lifetime. It seems important to take care of it and give it what it needs. I know I have seriously lacked in motivation for quite some time now, and I am really not sure how to get out of that slump. But I have to try. For my sake, but also for my boys. I try and set a good example for them but lately it just feels like I haven't been doing that. I haven't been terrible, but I know I can do better. I am thinking maybe if I can get to this blog more often, that might help.

And I need to keep an eye on the calories going in, and the quality of those calories as well. I want to be eating a more balanced diet, in the quantities that I need to sustain myself (or perhaps a little less than I need so I can attack the extra weight that has crept back on). I want to be eating lots of fruits and vegetables. And I want to come up with strong protein sources that are not always based on animals. And I need to drink more water. That should be an easy one!! I need to concentrate on the part where the fuel going in is high quality and real. Yes, I will still have some treats. I have too much of a sweet tooth not to. But I need to make sure they are just that... a treat... and only sometimes. I need to resist the constant unhealthy snacks on display at my workplace. I need to remember that what goes in is what will be fuelling me. And I only need so much fuel. I should probably start tracking what I eat again, because the last time I did that, it was super effective.

But the other side of it is the exercise. Now I know the last little while has been a bit dictated for me, but it doesn't mean I still can't find a way to sneak in some exercise etc. I have not made it a priority. I need to. I need to because I want my body to be strong for me. I need to because I want to be strong for my family. So I hope that today gets me going again. I am going to put up this post, and see if I can try and add to this blog at least three times a week.

Today I made the decision to go for a run. Nothing long. Nothing far. Just a run. And I did. It was super hot outside, but I went. Just for half an hour. But it was something. Because I want to start making it a priority. For me. No more excuses.

And I guess I should document where I am starting. Ugh. Again. Not something I really want to share, but something I really need to so that I can try and improve upon it. The scale says to me 194.2lbs. I know. There is work to be done. The pants are pretty snug. I want them to be loose again. I want to feel better about me. I can do this... at least, I hope I can!!

A Fitness Challenge...

As I was leaving work the other day, I noticed a poster for a fitness challenge. It is being organized by a police constable, but open to anyone working in emergency services, so I sent off an email saying I was interested if it wasn't too late to sign up. 

I have the information now, and just need to send it off. It should be interesting. It will be twelve weeks long, and every week there is a challenge. As well, you have to have a goal in mind. Then, there is this complicated formula based on percentage of weight lost, goal attainment and challenges completed that will assign everyone points, and from there we determine our top three. 

I think the competition will be good for me. I really want something to kick start me, since obviously I am not doing well on my own. It is exactly what I need right now. 

I vow to track my eating on MyPlate through LIVESTRONG. The challenge will last for twelve weeks and goes straight through the holiday season, and ends at the end of January. The whole point is to make some friends and work to better yourself. This seems achievable. I saw there are a few people on the list from my work, so I am certainly not in this alone. 

Given that I want to improve my body before I turn 40, this seems very well timed for me. So time to get out of this negative fitness and food funk and get moving. Again. Tonight I'll do all my measurements and get all that sent off. 

And then it is time to look at the race calendar and find something to inspire myself with for next year. My son has said he might do a 10km with me. I like that idea. Huge accomplishment for him if he does it, but something I'm certain he can achieve. That kid is quite the little runner!!

Get me out of this funk...

Uh... seriously...

Again...

What is it with my complete apathy lately when it comes to exercise?

And Eating...

I need an intervention...

Or some focus...

Or a desire to change...

Something...

It is less than 100 days until we go on a trip I have been anxiously awaiting for more than two years now. Truly. I need to get serious.

I will be in a bathing suit...

I will be in the sun...

I am tired of my pants and shorts feeling tighter...

I don't want bigger work clothes...

I want my kids to see a positive example...

I want to eat better...

I want to be healthier...

I need a change...

I want a change...

I must be focused...

Starting now...

SUGOI Brand Champion!!

Earlier this year, I applied to be part of the SUGOI Brand Champion program. I have always loved SUGOI and one of my favourite jackets of all times come from them many years ago. And over the years, I've acquired more and more of their amazing product. So, it seemed only fitting to apply to their program. But then something incredible happened... I actually go picked to be a brand champion. Just plain me.

I'm not a professional athlete, I am not an age group winner. I am a middle of the packer. Sometimes closer to back of the pack, depends on the day really. In fact, I sometimes struggle to find the motivation to work out. I eat cause I love food, and sometimes that is reflected in my waistline. But I sign up for races, and I finish. I race so my children know that being active should be a part of every day life. I race so friends and family can see me being active, and hopefully inspire them as well. I race simply because I can, there are many people out there who get sidelined by illness and disease so I race in honour of them, making sure that I use my health to raise money for causes that help those who are sidelined. I race for the feeling you get at the finish, hearing my boys cheer and tell me they are proud of their mama.

So, now that I am actually a Brand Champion, I feel the need to represent SUGOI to the best of my abilities. That means following my goals, and sticking to my program. I have a lofty goal this year. As a full-time working mom of two young boys, I am training for my first ever Ironman, this August at Ironman Canada in Penticton. It's a big goal, but I know it can be achieved. I just need to stick to the program. Stop with the excuses, stay focused and stay committed. There are a few other events planned for the year as well. The Ride to Conquer Cancer Alberta edition, please, feel free to donate to this wonderful cause helping the Alberta Cancer Foundation fund cutting edge research (I still have a bit to raise!!). And one of my favourite half marathons, The Calgary Police Half Marathon. We also signed up for the Melissa's 10km Road Race in September (a nice relaxing post ironman race??). So there are lots of things to train for and account for.  Part of that means, I intend to be a bit more regular with my blogging. For some reason, this has been a struggle in the past year. Finding time to sit at the computer isn't always easy with my little guys wanting so much of my time. But I will work at it, even if the entries are just short!! After all, I am sure many of us sometimes go through the same struggles, and better to share those and find support to continue marching on.

I'm excited. I'm inspired. This year is going to be a lot of fun!! So please, follow along... and share your goals for the year... I would love to hear them!!

Here we go again...

I have a little under eight months until Ironman Canada. It's not a lot of time. Yet, it is. But, my first goal is to trim down this body a bit again (sigh!), since I put back on 20 of the 30 pounds I lost last year. So, for the next four months, I will concentrate on that. Building my fitness base and trimming the pounds. After all, if I have 20 less pounds to get up the big hills, it will be that much easier. Then, I have four months to build my endurance and put in the time for the distance stuff.

I know where I strayed. Truly. When I was on track, I was very disciplined. I exercised every single day. Some days were tough runs, others were easy walks. I incorporated weight training, biking, swimming, sometimes the elliptical or stair machine, sometimes a bootcamp style workout. I was willing to do anything to simply keep my body moving, following Newton's law of an object in motion stays in motion. And really, you almost crave exercise after doing it every day.

The other big stray, my eating. When I was on track, I used the Livestrong, MyPlate to track my eating and exercise. It's fantastic. The app on the iPhone is only $2.99 and literally, since my phone is practically an appendage these days, it's never far from me, and so it is easy to track the eating. And, the database of products is so immense that it includes breads from my local bakery even!! And, if something is not in there, you can add it! And you can add your own recipes that you make at home. It really made me accountable for what I was putting in my mouth. I mean, still I would eat things like ice cream or special treats, but I really planned for them, to make sure it worked into my program. And I was successful. I lost 30 pounds. It was pretty great. And then, I slowly stopped tracking, and then I slowly added more and more treats, and then I slowly started putting the weight back on... grrrrrrr... I saw it happening literally, right before my eyes (sigh), I knew it, and yet I did nothing to stop it.

So, here I am again. It's a new year, and my big goal is in August. I want to be successful. I know I can be. I just need to be disciplined again. So, I start again. Today's weighin, starting weight (insert sad faced kicking myself in the pants for this expression) is 192.0. Ugh. Why oh why must I be here again. It's saying I am 40.1% body fat. I am disappointed in myself. However, today is a new starting point. And today I begin again. Today is the first day. Today I can make good decisions. Will I stumble? I'm sure. But will I succeed? Of course. So, back to tracking what I eat. Trying to include more fruits and vegetables and holding myself accountable for what I put in my mouth and for putting my body in motion.

Here we go again...

I feel like a broken record. Uh. Yet, Here I am, again, deciding that maybe today is the day I should get going again. Lately I have just totally been lacking in motivation and inspiration. I really do feel like a broken record (hmmmm.... does that show my age or what since a whole generation doesn't even have a clue what a record is). And really, I have no excuse for this complete lack of discipline when it comes to exercise and nutrition lately. And there are only ten months between now and the biggest goal I have ever set for myself (Ironman Canada). So what gives? Why is it, I just can't seem to stay focused and driven? I mean, I know we all go through ups and downs, but this down just seems to be lasting forever, and I'm really not happy with that.

I know I make the choices. I get that. I also get that I have chosen to make several bad choices on the eating front lately. And even as I'm making them, I know they aren't the choice I really want to make, but it's the choice I do make. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

I feel like I'm trying to sabotage myself, when really, that's not the case, or maybe it is. Maybe I am so scared of failing, that I just sabotage enough steps along the way, then I'll have an easy out? Could that be it? I mean, I'm so excited to do Ironman next year. I watched Jeremy this year and was so incredibly proud of him!! And, it's been in the back of my mind for a few years now, so I know it's a goal, that needs to be achieved but wow, getting myself on track is proving to be much tougher than I imagined it might be. Last year I exercised every single day for ten months of the year. Now, I struggle to exercise ten days in a month. What gives??

But, I'm tired of the excuses, really tired of them. So once again, I start anew and hope that this is the time that really gets me going...Where do I start for now? Yeah, not even sure... let me go check... yeah, ain't that pretty, and long story, but can't get it to rotate... grrrrrr