Change is in the Air...

To say the last couple weeks have been stressful would be a bit of an understatement. Truly, I have felt quite overwhelmed lately but mostly due to circumstances completely out of my control. It has been a bit of a wake up call however and it has me feeling much more committed to becoming healthier and taking better care of myself. Without going into much detail, I will say that I have seen people in my family go through some tough stuff. Namely, cancer returning and killing a loved one. Another loved one suffering a broken leg and needing surgery to get it back into place. And another loved one being admitted to the hospital. So, suddenly I am seeing multiple ways that health is failing in people that matter to me. It has provided a true wake up call and made me really think hard about taking better care of myself.

I know, broken record. But maybe this time will be different. We only get one body to last us a lifetime. It seems important to take care of it and give it what it needs. I know I have seriously lacked in motivation for quite some time now, and I am really not sure how to get out of that slump. But I have to try. For my sake, but also for my boys. I try and set a good example for them but lately it just feels like I haven't been doing that. I haven't been terrible, but I know I can do better. I am thinking maybe if I can get to this blog more often, that might help.

And I need to keep an eye on the calories going in, and the quality of those calories as well. I want to be eating a more balanced diet, in the quantities that I need to sustain myself (or perhaps a little less than I need so I can attack the extra weight that has crept back on). I want to be eating lots of fruits and vegetables. And I want to come up with strong protein sources that are not always based on animals. And I need to drink more water. That should be an easy one!! I need to concentrate on the part where the fuel going in is high quality and real. Yes, I will still have some treats. I have too much of a sweet tooth not to. But I need to make sure they are just that... a treat... and only sometimes. I need to resist the constant unhealthy snacks on display at my workplace. I need to remember that what goes in is what will be fuelling me. And I only need so much fuel. I should probably start tracking what I eat again, because the last time I did that, it was super effective.

But the other side of it is the exercise. Now I know the last little while has been a bit dictated for me, but it doesn't mean I still can't find a way to sneak in some exercise etc. I have not made it a priority. I need to. I need to because I want my body to be strong for me. I need to because I want to be strong for my family. So I hope that today gets me going again. I am going to put up this post, and see if I can try and add to this blog at least three times a week.

Today I made the decision to go for a run. Nothing long. Nothing far. Just a run. And I did. It was super hot outside, but I went. Just for half an hour. But it was something. Because I want to start making it a priority. For me. No more excuses.

And I guess I should document where I am starting. Ugh. Again. Not something I really want to share, but something I really need to so that I can try and improve upon it. The scale says to me 194.2lbs. I know. There is work to be done. The pants are pretty snug. I want them to be loose again. I want to feel better about me. I can do this... at least, I hope I can!!

A Fitness Challenge...

As I was leaving work the other day, I noticed a poster for a fitness challenge. It is being organized by a police constable, but open to anyone working in emergency services, so I sent off an email saying I was interested if it wasn't too late to sign up. 

I have the information now, and just need to send it off. It should be interesting. It will be twelve weeks long, and every week there is a challenge. As well, you have to have a goal in mind. Then, there is this complicated formula based on percentage of weight lost, goal attainment and challenges completed that will assign everyone points, and from there we determine our top three. 

I think the competition will be good for me. I really want something to kick start me, since obviously I am not doing well on my own. It is exactly what I need right now. 

I vow to track my eating on MyPlate through LIVESTRONG. The challenge will last for twelve weeks and goes straight through the holiday season, and ends at the end of January. The whole point is to make some friends and work to better yourself. This seems achievable. I saw there are a few people on the list from my work, so I am certainly not in this alone. 

Given that I want to improve my body before I turn 40, this seems very well timed for me. So time to get out of this negative fitness and food funk and get moving. Again. Tonight I'll do all my measurements and get all that sent off. 

And then it is time to look at the race calendar and find something to inspire myself with for next year. My son has said he might do a 10km with me. I like that idea. Huge accomplishment for him if he does it, but something I'm certain he can achieve. That kid is quite the little runner!!

Here we go again...

I have a little under eight months until Ironman Canada. It's not a lot of time. Yet, it is. But, my first goal is to trim down this body a bit again (sigh!), since I put back on 20 of the 30 pounds I lost last year. So, for the next four months, I will concentrate on that. Building my fitness base and trimming the pounds. After all, if I have 20 less pounds to get up the big hills, it will be that much easier. Then, I have four months to build my endurance and put in the time for the distance stuff.

I know where I strayed. Truly. When I was on track, I was very disciplined. I exercised every single day. Some days were tough runs, others were easy walks. I incorporated weight training, biking, swimming, sometimes the elliptical or stair machine, sometimes a bootcamp style workout. I was willing to do anything to simply keep my body moving, following Newton's law of an object in motion stays in motion. And really, you almost crave exercise after doing it every day.

The other big stray, my eating. When I was on track, I used the Livestrong, MyPlate to track my eating and exercise. It's fantastic. The app on the iPhone is only $2.99 and literally, since my phone is practically an appendage these days, it's never far from me, and so it is easy to track the eating. And, the database of products is so immense that it includes breads from my local bakery even!! And, if something is not in there, you can add it! And you can add your own recipes that you make at home. It really made me accountable for what I was putting in my mouth. I mean, still I would eat things like ice cream or special treats, but I really planned for them, to make sure it worked into my program. And I was successful. I lost 30 pounds. It was pretty great. And then, I slowly stopped tracking, and then I slowly added more and more treats, and then I slowly started putting the weight back on... grrrrrrr... I saw it happening literally, right before my eyes (sigh), I knew it, and yet I did nothing to stop it.

So, here I am again. It's a new year, and my big goal is in August. I want to be successful. I know I can be. I just need to be disciplined again. So, I start again. Today's weighin, starting weight (insert sad faced kicking myself in the pants for this expression) is 192.0. Ugh. Why oh why must I be here again. It's saying I am 40.1% body fat. I am disappointed in myself. However, today is a new starting point. And today I begin again. Today is the first day. Today I can make good decisions. Will I stumble? I'm sure. But will I succeed? Of course. So, back to tracking what I eat. Trying to include more fruits and vegetables and holding myself accountable for what I put in my mouth and for putting my body in motion.

Weigh in Wednesday

Okay, so it isn't really pretty. I was doing pretty good in the earlier part of 2011, however, all of that progress has disappeared and here we are again, back at 188. Seriously? I can attribute almost entirely to my horrid eating over the summer. Basically, after the ride to conquer cancer, I have been in some sort of funk. Exercise has been so-so, but eating has been terrible!! I'm ashamed really!! What the heck!! I know what I want, yet I sabotage myself. I keep saying I'll start tomorrow or next week, or whatever. I used Jeremy's ironman as an excuse for me to eat. That makes no sense, but it worked for me. Terrible terrible terrible. So, here we go again. I will try and be more disciplined and pay better attention to my eating and work harder at including exercise on a more frequent basis. After all, I'm set to do ironman next year, and at this weight, I'm carrying around way more than I should. Grrrrrrrrr... Oh well, at least I'm aware of what I need to do, and will focus on my eating and trying to develop better habits again before the new year starts (read: I'm starting now, NOT in the new year). My plan? Well, I'm going to use MyPlate from the livestrong site. It's got a truly amazing database, and with the app for the iPhone, there is no excuse not to watch my eating. Try and include many more vegetables and fruits. Get back to 8 glasses of water a day. And most important? Portion Control. So that's my focus for the next little while, and we shall see if it works...