Change is in the Air...

To say the last couple weeks have been stressful would be a bit of an understatement. Truly, I have felt quite overwhelmed lately but mostly due to circumstances completely out of my control. It has been a bit of a wake up call however and it has me feeling much more committed to becoming healthier and taking better care of myself. Without going into much detail, I will say that I have seen people in my family go through some tough stuff. Namely, cancer returning and killing a loved one. Another loved one suffering a broken leg and needing surgery to get it back into place. And another loved one being admitted to the hospital. So, suddenly I am seeing multiple ways that health is failing in people that matter to me. It has provided a true wake up call and made me really think hard about taking better care of myself.

I know, broken record. But maybe this time will be different. We only get one body to last us a lifetime. It seems important to take care of it and give it what it needs. I know I have seriously lacked in motivation for quite some time now, and I am really not sure how to get out of that slump. But I have to try. For my sake, but also for my boys. I try and set a good example for them but lately it just feels like I haven't been doing that. I haven't been terrible, but I know I can do better. I am thinking maybe if I can get to this blog more often, that might help.

And I need to keep an eye on the calories going in, and the quality of those calories as well. I want to be eating a more balanced diet, in the quantities that I need to sustain myself (or perhaps a little less than I need so I can attack the extra weight that has crept back on). I want to be eating lots of fruits and vegetables. And I want to come up with strong protein sources that are not always based on animals. And I need to drink more water. That should be an easy one!! I need to concentrate on the part where the fuel going in is high quality and real. Yes, I will still have some treats. I have too much of a sweet tooth not to. But I need to make sure they are just that... a treat... and only sometimes. I need to resist the constant unhealthy snacks on display at my workplace. I need to remember that what goes in is what will be fuelling me. And I only need so much fuel. I should probably start tracking what I eat again, because the last time I did that, it was super effective.

But the other side of it is the exercise. Now I know the last little while has been a bit dictated for me, but it doesn't mean I still can't find a way to sneak in some exercise etc. I have not made it a priority. I need to. I need to because I want my body to be strong for me. I need to because I want to be strong for my family. So I hope that today gets me going again. I am going to put up this post, and see if I can try and add to this blog at least three times a week.

Today I made the decision to go for a run. Nothing long. Nothing far. Just a run. And I did. It was super hot outside, but I went. Just for half an hour. But it was something. Because I want to start making it a priority. For me. No more excuses.

And I guess I should document where I am starting. Ugh. Again. Not something I really want to share, but something I really need to so that I can try and improve upon it. The scale says to me 194.2lbs. I know. There is work to be done. The pants are pretty snug. I want them to be loose again. I want to feel better about me. I can do this... at least, I hope I can!!

And so we begin again...

With less than ninety days until we leave for a long anticipated family vacation, once again I must try and be disciplined and a little more in charge of myself. I work hard to be active with my kids yet I can't seem to stay focused on myself and my food choices sometimes.

Part of it is just self sabotage. That's terrible I know. And that might not even be the right term. Making bad choices in the moment for short term pleasure rather than thinking about the long term goal. But if I am serious about the long term goal, then the short term decisions really do matter. I need to keep that big picture close by so that my day to day decisions take that into account. 

So where do I stand... Well, here...

See what I mean? It's not pretty. Two years ago I was very disciplined with eating and my weight was at about 164.  Last year I was disciplined with exercise as I trained for Ironman Canada. At the moment I'm not being very disciplined at either. That needs to change. That HAS to change. 

And so I once again, I commit myself to this journey of eating better and exercise. I know the journey is not always easy. But it can be done. I know it's a mindset. I have done this before and I will do this again. Because, I know I want the bigger goal now more than the quick sugar highs. 

I also want to feel more comfortable in my own skin. I know being back at this weight that I just don't look how I would like. 

I do make fairly good eating choices. Like breakfast today. I had my muesli with half a peach and blueberries. So tasty. And I had one small mocha. Eight ounces. See, very portion controlled. I will track my eating again. Truly, tracking your eating is key. If you don't hold yourself accountable, you'll cheat. If one cookie is good, two is better. That kind of thing. So I will track it. And I will blog about it. And maybe I'll find some other people facing a similar journey. 

It is mind over matter. And I know I have a strong mindset. I'm an ironman for goodness sakes. So if I can accomplish those huge physical tasks, I know I can do the eating ones as well.  

I want to do this for me but also for my kids. Part of being an active family is setting a good example. That means being active but it also means consuming the best fuel for that activity. It means no snacking on junk food once the kids go to bed. If I need a snack, making it wholesome and healthy and within the guidelines I need to sustain myself, not pushing over that. 

So, there you have it. Post Ironman has been less than ideal. I've slumped back into some bad habits but the time to get good habits going again is here. I have big dreams. I have big goals. There are so many races, hikes, bikes, runs and more to do. But I want to get faster and not just finish. The time is now. Today we get going once again. Better eating, more focused exercise. And...GO!!