Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Here we go again...

I feel like a broken record. Uh. Yet, Here I am, again, deciding that maybe today is the day I should get going again. Lately I have just totally been lacking in motivation and inspiration. I really do feel like a broken record (hmmmm.... does that show my age or what since a whole generation doesn't even have a clue what a record is). And really, I have no excuse for this complete lack of discipline when it comes to exercise and nutrition lately. And there are only ten months between now and the biggest goal I have ever set for myself (Ironman Canada). So what gives? Why is it, I just can't seem to stay focused and driven? I mean, I know we all go through ups and downs, but this down just seems to be lasting forever, and I'm really not happy with that.

I know I make the choices. I get that. I also get that I have chosen to make several bad choices on the eating front lately. And even as I'm making them, I know they aren't the choice I really want to make, but it's the choice I do make. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

I feel like I'm trying to sabotage myself, when really, that's not the case, or maybe it is. Maybe I am so scared of failing, that I just sabotage enough steps along the way, then I'll have an easy out? Could that be it? I mean, I'm so excited to do Ironman next year. I watched Jeremy this year and was so incredibly proud of him!! And, it's been in the back of my mind for a few years now, so I know it's a goal, that needs to be achieved but wow, getting myself on track is proving to be much tougher than I imagined it might be. Last year I exercised every single day for ten months of the year. Now, I struggle to exercise ten days in a month. What gives??

But, I'm tired of the excuses, really tired of them. So once again, I start anew and hope that this is the time that really gets me going...Where do I start for now? Yeah, not even sure... let me go check... yeah, ain't that pretty, and long story, but can't get it to rotate... grrrrrr