And so we begin again...

With less than ninety days until we leave for a long anticipated family vacation, once again I must try and be disciplined and a little more in charge of myself. I work hard to be active with my kids yet I can't seem to stay focused on myself and my food choices sometimes.

Part of it is just self sabotage. That's terrible I know. And that might not even be the right term. Making bad choices in the moment for short term pleasure rather than thinking about the long term goal. But if I am serious about the long term goal, then the short term decisions really do matter. I need to keep that big picture close by so that my day to day decisions take that into account. 

So where do I stand... Well, here...

See what I mean? It's not pretty. Two years ago I was very disciplined with eating and my weight was at about 164.  Last year I was disciplined with exercise as I trained for Ironman Canada. At the moment I'm not being very disciplined at either. That needs to change. That HAS to change. 

And so I once again, I commit myself to this journey of eating better and exercise. I know the journey is not always easy. But it can be done. I know it's a mindset. I have done this before and I will do this again. Because, I know I want the bigger goal now more than the quick sugar highs. 

I also want to feel more comfortable in my own skin. I know being back at this weight that I just don't look how I would like. 

I do make fairly good eating choices. Like breakfast today. I had my muesli with half a peach and blueberries. So tasty. And I had one small mocha. Eight ounces. See, very portion controlled. I will track my eating again. Truly, tracking your eating is key. If you don't hold yourself accountable, you'll cheat. If one cookie is good, two is better. That kind of thing. So I will track it. And I will blog about it. And maybe I'll find some other people facing a similar journey. 

It is mind over matter. And I know I have a strong mindset. I'm an ironman for goodness sakes. So if I can accomplish those huge physical tasks, I know I can do the eating ones as well.  

I want to do this for me but also for my kids. Part of being an active family is setting a good example. That means being active but it also means consuming the best fuel for that activity. It means no snacking on junk food once the kids go to bed. If I need a snack, making it wholesome and healthy and within the guidelines I need to sustain myself, not pushing over that. 

So, there you have it. Post Ironman has been less than ideal. I've slumped back into some bad habits but the time to get good habits going again is here. I have big dreams. I have big goals. There are so many races, hikes, bikes, runs and more to do. But I want to get faster and not just finish. The time is now. Today we get going once again. Better eating, more focused exercise. And...GO!!

Renewed!!

Well, that was a pretty successful week. Managed to get in a 45 minute swim (for some reason you practically have to drag me to the pool kicking and screaming), my first outdoor ride, the eight minute test on Trainer Road, a 7km run, two more 4km runs, and then tonight was another hour on the bike. That was about 7 hours of training. Not too bad!! This Ironman training needs to stay consistent now though. No more falling off the band wagon!!

And tomorrow my little guy starts his training. His school is doing a running club, where every day they run a kilometre and then at the end of May they run the last 1.2km on race day, totalling a marathon!! So, he will be completing his second "marathon". Not bad for a kindergartener!!

A bunch of training

Life is moving along nicely, and so too is the training. Last week got out running at least 3 times, biking once and swimming once. So, things are getting back on track. The big events are quickly approaching, so no more excuses, training is simply a must.

The question is, what motivates you to keep training...

Here we go again...

I feel like a broken record. Uh. Yet, Here I am, again, deciding that maybe today is the day I should get going again. Lately I have just totally been lacking in motivation and inspiration. I really do feel like a broken record (hmmmm.... does that show my age or what since a whole generation doesn't even have a clue what a record is). And really, I have no excuse for this complete lack of discipline when it comes to exercise and nutrition lately. And there are only ten months between now and the biggest goal I have ever set for myself (Ironman Canada). So what gives? Why is it, I just can't seem to stay focused and driven? I mean, I know we all go through ups and downs, but this down just seems to be lasting forever, and I'm really not happy with that.

I know I make the choices. I get that. I also get that I have chosen to make several bad choices on the eating front lately. And even as I'm making them, I know they aren't the choice I really want to make, but it's the choice I do make. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

I feel like I'm trying to sabotage myself, when really, that's not the case, or maybe it is. Maybe I am so scared of failing, that I just sabotage enough steps along the way, then I'll have an easy out? Could that be it? I mean, I'm so excited to do Ironman next year. I watched Jeremy this year and was so incredibly proud of him!! And, it's been in the back of my mind for a few years now, so I know it's a goal, that needs to be achieved but wow, getting myself on track is proving to be much tougher than I imagined it might be. Last year I exercised every single day for ten months of the year. Now, I struggle to exercise ten days in a month. What gives??

But, I'm tired of the excuses, really tired of them. So once again, I start anew and hope that this is the time that really gets me going...Where do I start for now? Yeah, not even sure... let me go check... yeah, ain't that pretty, and long story, but can't get it to rotate... grrrrrr

Weigh in Wednesday

Okay, so it isn't really pretty. I was doing pretty good in the earlier part of 2011, however, all of that progress has disappeared and here we are again, back at 188. Seriously? I can attribute almost entirely to my horrid eating over the summer. Basically, after the ride to conquer cancer, I have been in some sort of funk. Exercise has been so-so, but eating has been terrible!! I'm ashamed really!! What the heck!! I know what I want, yet I sabotage myself. I keep saying I'll start tomorrow or next week, or whatever. I used Jeremy's ironman as an excuse for me to eat. That makes no sense, but it worked for me. Terrible terrible terrible. So, here we go again. I will try and be more disciplined and pay better attention to my eating and work harder at including exercise on a more frequent basis. After all, I'm set to do ironman next year, and at this weight, I'm carrying around way more than I should. Grrrrrrrrr... Oh well, at least I'm aware of what I need to do, and will focus on my eating and trying to develop better habits again before the new year starts (read: I'm starting now, NOT in the new year). My plan? Well, I'm going to use MyPlate from the livestrong site. It's got a truly amazing database, and with the app for the iPhone, there is no excuse not to watch my eating. Try and include many more vegetables and fruits. Get back to 8 glasses of water a day. And most important? Portion Control. So that's my focus for the next little while, and we shall see if it works...